Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you’re all safe and sound.
Wrong. Sorry. Listen. No.
These are not just random words. These are four words that helped me a lot on my journey to self improvement, and I do think it’s so important to apply this on our daily life.
Nobody is perfect. You can be wrong even in the time that you felt you’re doing it right. It’s difficult to admit it, but let me tell you.. To admit that you’re wrong is one of the bravest and most mature thing a person can do. There’s two types of this 1. People admit they’re wrong just to satisfy the other person or to shut up the other person and 2. people who admit they’re wrong and then ask you what can they do to avoid this.
It took me years.
At first, whenever people tell me I’m wrong, I just respond to them with “Okay. You’re right.. whatever” and still have a hard feeling about it after. But now, I appreciate when people tell me I’m wrong because it makes me feel that they care for me so much that they don’t want me to look stupid next time.
Once you accepted that you can be wrong then learn how to say sorry. I remember a quote, it was like “If everything can be fix with a sorry then why do we need laws or police? Lets all just say sorry instead.” I used. I practiced. I believed in this quote for a very long time. I rarely say sorry. I think I only say it to someone who has more authority, like a teacher. But I don’t use it to my friends, classmates or strangers. I didn’t think they deserve it.
But I realised how toxic that is. It didn’t help me grow as a person, I feel like I’m above of everyone else because I’m so cool I don’t use sorry and that is so wrong even though it’s not true.
The time I started to recognise that I could be wrong was also the time I started to learn on how to say sorry. It wasn’t so hard than I thought it would be to be honest.
Learn to listen. Try to listen first before you talk. I also struggled with this because I always have an opinion about things. I enjoy telling people what I think if it’s a topic I am so attached with. It’s hard for me to listen because I have so many things I want to say.
One day I was scrolling on Reddit when I came crossed on this post, then it hit me. It was an eye opener for me, that time it feels like the quote was talking to me because I was the type of person the quote was talking about. So, I taught myself to talk less and listen more.
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”– Anonymous
When I started applying this on my daily life. It was so surprising to hear people talk and express their opinion because before all I hear was myself. I don’t think I even remember how they sound like. Now, I only talk whenever it feels like I need to. I try my best to listen and analyse what the other person told me before I give my reaction. It’s been helpful for me so for. I learned to choose my battles because of this.
Two letters, but a powerful word.
Most people always have a hard time saying no on every occasion. For example, saying no to an invitation appears rude or to a favour. It’s hard when the person asking you this or who put you in the spot is someone close to you.
This is an attitude that I used to have. I can’t tell you all the difficulties I had to go through just because I didn’t say no.
“Can you do our group presentation? I’ll give you money as my contribution instead.” Even if im already tired – YES.
“Are you free this weekend? I want to go to this place,” Even if I still have homeworks to do- YES.
“Can you please let me copy your homework?” Even if I worked so hard to finish it myself- YES.
This kind of attitude was exhausting. It made me feel weak. That time I just tell myself that I am a good person that’s why they treat me like that or that they will have their own karma one day.
It took me long to realise that those events happened to me because I allowed it. I am also the one to blame why I had to experience that.
So, I started teaching myself how to say no. I made myself my number one priority. I don’t mind helping anyone or doing someone a favour as long as -its reasonable and it doesn’t compromise my schedule.
These practices might seem so hard to apply at first, but I think it’s the most basic thing a person should learn. If you haven’t learned this yet, then it’ll be hard for you to go on to the next step.
Remember: You’re a human. You’re designed to have feelings and to acknowledge that is not a weakness.
Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below. Please, support my blog by donating through my Ko-Fi link or just click the Ko-Fi button below. Have a delightful day! ♡